Remember the music from "The Sound of Music"? Remember the song "My Favorite Things"? I recently read a book where a fellow listed about a thousand things for which he was thankful. Seems like a great idea (and maybe something we should all review regularly.... if only to provide balance in this current difficult time). As I read it I felt better, so save yourself some money and read on....... my initial list of Favorite things in no particular order....
1) The smell of a newborn, and the feel of their skin.
2)Heathers laugh. OK, Heather in general, but especially her laugh
3)The times I have been blessed to see a loved ones soul (the day we married I saw your soul)
4)Sunset on the lake with those I love
5)Fishing with my Dad and Brother
6)Working in my gardens
7)Working with Mom and Dad anywhere... hell, doing anything in their company
8) Breakfast at Hardees
9)Knoth's BBQ
10)Time on the pontoon
11)Fall....... whether in Ky or in the mountains with Dave & Jeanette
12)Belonging to something greater.... The family circle
13)Lunch with my Pop, Dad and Mark
14)Bozo's (BBQ again..... I might be hungry)
15)Alyce......... I see you
16)Tink
17)Any of a thousand moments with Katelynn
18)An afternoon with Anna and the kids..... watching them play in the yard
19)A hug from Cadence............
20)A hug from my Brother.......... the ones that make it impossible to breath
21)Eternal friends......... ones I laugh with, and especially the ones I cry with
22)My Father......... and one of the most noble souls I know
23)Dory and Gage.... the latest chapters in my life
24)Tabby........... I told you lately I love you?
25)Playing with either a kitten or puppy
26)The smell of a grill in the summer..... from blocks away
27)Cold Watermelon
28)CHRISTMAS...the music, the rare occasion when you get just the right gift, being together
29)The sound of rain on a tin roof
30)An afternoon on the Buffalo river, just before sunset. The high shear cliffs were visible in the distance leaving a feeling of being isolated, and secluded. It was warm and we had just finished setting up camp. Everyone had gotten something to drink, and we were all sitting in lawn chairs up to our waist in the shoal of the river enjoying both the sunset, and each others company. To borrow a quote from an author I have come to think was a genius.... "When I was young a teacher had forbidden me to say "more perfect" because she said if a thing is perfect it can't be more so. But by now I had seen enough life to have regained my confidence in it."
Life does offer moments of absolute perfection...... probably more than we appreciate.
Enough for today........ I will revisit this subject often I think.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Laughter..... if I had to define my existence, it would in some respect reflect an unending search for laughter. Laughter is the sound of a souls singing. In that respect, my life is blessed by several members of Gods own chorus.
Laughing is pretty much universal..... but being funny is unique. I was born to one of the worlds best comedians. If my mother had married Ricky Ricardo the world would be a different place. Making others laugh involves a risk. Not everyone has the courage to face the risk inherent in trying to make others laugh (ever tell a joke and mess it up? That silence is it's own mini version of Hell). My mother has the most child like willingness to offer attempts at making others laugh........... and subsequently she is almost universally successful. That has lasted most of a lifetime.
Mom had no trouble entertaining 2 sons and a daughter when we were young, but she is equally as successful now that we are grown and have a much more sophisticated understanding of humor...... well, at least until we are around Mom. Then perhaps it erodes to just silly. That alone is a gift beyond comprehension. How many folks do you feel comfortable in being silly around. I am not sure what the mechanism is for making others willing to loose self awareness, but my Mom is a carrier............... and a blessing to my soul.
Laughter is what binds us. Who can ever forget those moments that you laughed so hard you could not catch your breath. Laughter may well be the milestones by which we can measure the years. One of my earliest memories was as a young boy playing with Tonka trucks under a tree on a street that is now underwater just down the road from the Kentucky State Penitentiary. A bird relieved himself on my cousin, and he looked up and said something about "Go ahead, do it again, everyone else does....." This was at maybe 5 or 6 years of age. So much of my formative years was spent in the company of my cousins and Brother. Sadly, the subject matter of what we laughed about has not changed much over the years, but we still manage to get together and each visit is blessed with laughter.
Most every heart ache in my life has been mitigated with laughter. When my Brother and I finally find something in the most tragic of situations to laugh at, then I know we will survive. I thought my military brothers invented "politically incorrect" humor. My Brother and I perfected it. I suspect that most anything, given enough time can eventually be made light of. We may push the time frame a little. I watched an interview with Mel Brooks once where he was asked why in some of his productions he made fun of the Nazis (and especially Adolph Hitler). His response has been something that has always stuck with me:
"Rhetoric does not get you anywhere,because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance."
Seems to me, the best way to mitigate hurt and hate is with God's own gift, the music of the soul.
Laughing is pretty much universal..... but being funny is unique. I was born to one of the worlds best comedians. If my mother had married Ricky Ricardo the world would be a different place. Making others laugh involves a risk. Not everyone has the courage to face the risk inherent in trying to make others laugh (ever tell a joke and mess it up? That silence is it's own mini version of Hell). My mother has the most child like willingness to offer attempts at making others laugh........... and subsequently she is almost universally successful. That has lasted most of a lifetime.
Mom had no trouble entertaining 2 sons and a daughter when we were young, but she is equally as successful now that we are grown and have a much more sophisticated understanding of humor...... well, at least until we are around Mom. Then perhaps it erodes to just silly. That alone is a gift beyond comprehension. How many folks do you feel comfortable in being silly around. I am not sure what the mechanism is for making others willing to loose self awareness, but my Mom is a carrier............... and a blessing to my soul.
Laughter is what binds us. Who can ever forget those moments that you laughed so hard you could not catch your breath. Laughter may well be the milestones by which we can measure the years. One of my earliest memories was as a young boy playing with Tonka trucks under a tree on a street that is now underwater just down the road from the Kentucky State Penitentiary. A bird relieved himself on my cousin, and he looked up and said something about "Go ahead, do it again, everyone else does....." This was at maybe 5 or 6 years of age. So much of my formative years was spent in the company of my cousins and Brother. Sadly, the subject matter of what we laughed about has not changed much over the years, but we still manage to get together and each visit is blessed with laughter.
Most every heart ache in my life has been mitigated with laughter. When my Brother and I finally find something in the most tragic of situations to laugh at, then I know we will survive. I thought my military brothers invented "politically incorrect" humor. My Brother and I perfected it. I suspect that most anything, given enough time can eventually be made light of. We may push the time frame a little. I watched an interview with Mel Brooks once where he was asked why in some of his productions he made fun of the Nazis (and especially Adolph Hitler). His response has been something that has always stuck with me:
"Rhetoric does not get you anywhere,because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance."
Seems to me, the best way to mitigate hurt and hate is with God's own gift, the music of the soul.
OK, since any revelation as to who or what we are must somehow encompass what we believe, a discussion of faith must ensue. To reveal who I am therefore demands a discussion of faith, especially as a personal faith is at the very core of who I think I am. That said, I suspect this will be the shortest of all blogs. See, if I have not demonstrated my faith, any verbal discussion seems superficial.
The world is full of organized religions, all somehow espousing their own "one universal truth", and most with a cadre of young militant males willing to kill you if you do not embrace their own "loving" God. We have heard that "God made man in his image....." Seems to me that we have tried to make God into ours. Arguing over who is right when discussing faith is like a bunch of ticks arguing over who owns the dog........ Seems just ludicrous to me.
I think we all have known individuals that verbally say one thing, but their actions speak volumes to a different truth. Some information is just not communicable by words alone. If I have not lived "love"..... if I somehow have left a question in your mind as to whether my allegiance was to something greater than my own immediate gratification, then I failed in my faith.
Do I believe in something greater? Yes. Have I lived it? Ahhhhhhhhhhh, there is a great question, but not one I am prepared to answer. It requires a judgement that is not necessarily mine to make. I will offer that I believe in a universal loving God. I believe we are more than just the bodies we inhabit, I believe in love, I believe in the people I love...... and I believe that is enough..........
The world is full of organized religions, all somehow espousing their own "one universal truth", and most with a cadre of young militant males willing to kill you if you do not embrace their own "loving" God. We have heard that "God made man in his image....." Seems to me that we have tried to make God into ours. Arguing over who is right when discussing faith is like a bunch of ticks arguing over who owns the dog........ Seems just ludicrous to me.
I think we all have known individuals that verbally say one thing, but their actions speak volumes to a different truth. Some information is just not communicable by words alone. If I have not lived "love"..... if I somehow have left a question in your mind as to whether my allegiance was to something greater than my own immediate gratification, then I failed in my faith.
Do I believe in something greater? Yes. Have I lived it? Ahhhhhhhhhhh, there is a great question, but not one I am prepared to answer. It requires a judgement that is not necessarily mine to make. I will offer that I believe in a universal loving God. I believe we are more than just the bodies we inhabit, I believe in love, I believe in the people I love...... and I believe that is enough..........
Monday, July 12, 2010
My first entry........... seems suddenly momentous. I have agonized over this for several days, ever since reaching the decision that I might want to start a blog. Why agonize? It's not as easy as I expected. For some reason I feel that this might be something that will have great significance......... gravitas. I guess that raises the question of "Why?" again. I think what I crave to achieve is something that everyone alive has always desired, and may well be the underlying purpose of all human life. I want to connect. Either to strengthen existing relationships, or to develop new ones...... I want/need to connect with others. Is that desire not universal? I have known profound friendships in my life. As a boy it seemed easy. Spend enough time in play with another and they somehow unfold before you like a new spring blossom. As a child, the fear of being honest has not been learned, and the people you play with are their own genuine selves. Add a few years and enough disillusionment has come along that you have a persona to project. Somewhere you loose your genuine better self for the one you want to project. Especially while dating......... Advance to early manhood and eventually you make some new "soul mate" friends. It's amazing how many of these friends are a direct result of alcohol induced honest discussions that almost always last all night (or till sobriety). In my personal life, the next step was the military (a furthering of the same behavior as in college..... there are so many corollaries between fraternity and the military so as to make the transition basically seamless). For others, and perhaps those who did not have an officers commission nor serve in a peace time military, I imagine the experience of being brothers-in-arms would be a bond that would create deep soul stirring bonds. No wonder so many service men can relate to the truth put forth by Dickens: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.....". Terrible circumstances, but for many, the deepest soulful connections of a lifetime. It seems an inordinate premium for finding a kindred soul, but what price would you pay for those individuals who have touched and become a part of your soul?
I have several friends from my youth that I still occasionally see. Some of them just happened to also be family. My brother and I enjoyed that type of boyhood intimacy with two male cousins. We do not see one another as much as we might, but we walked away a long time ago holding large parts of each others hearts. We can go years without talking, and walk into a room and immediately pickup as if we were together at dinner the night before. Same with my college and military friends. My best friend from back then actually fits into both categories (college and military). He told someone recently that in spite of the fact that we have not laid eyes on one another in almost two decades, if I were to call and ask for help today he would leave immediately. The depth of affection is mutual. Some souls just become intertwined with yours so deeply they are a part of who you are............... forever. Seems like I should add an Amen.....
I have that deeper "soul" level relationship with family. Several years ago my Dad's extended family met for a weekend. My Pop was not in the best of health, and a commitment to start regular family reunions was initiated. We had them for years, and more than enough love was shared........ but in truth we were not near the united group we are today. Those early reunions had everyone going here and there, and little groups visited as space and time allowed. The gentler side of the family (the women) were so involved in either food preparation or clean up that they seldom really had time to visit. We gathered, but we did not necessarily connect. Somewhere in the last two and a half decades someone saw a need and suggested we might want to try something different. A family time where we all took turns relaying whatever was significant in our lives. This was not a relaying of facts, but an honest relaying of what had importance in our lives. That first year "sharing" was difficult for some. It is amazing how difficult it can be to relay your successes and disappointments to others.......... even those that you know love you. It's the emotional equivalent of dropping your pants in times square. In your heart you are saying "This is the real me, please be gentle........". Well, we all made it through. Every year since then those that can have met and repeated the process. The circle has lost a member or two, and it has grown. Little ones are grown and have families of their own. They bring the little ones to learn the truth and value found in belonging to something "larger". The voices of little ones are strengthened early when they get a chance to talk and all the "adults" listen intently. Now, not only is my father wearing the title that his father so wonderfully progressed as "Pop" (or "Big Pop" to his three great-grandchildren), but to two beautiful little girls, and one little boy I am now "Pop". I can imagine no greater honor or title to which I might aspire. Somewhere in our desire to connect we found the best in each other. It is a holy time I think we all cherish. I will share the simple observation........... I see myself as the best man I ever hope to be in the eyes of the family and friends who have sat in that circle.
Next truth is that my daughter has revealed so much of herself in her own blog that it has been a regular instrument that offers the same type of revelation and bonding I feel at our reunions. The thought that I might be able to share something like the reunion with family on a more regular basis is .............. well, just awesome. There is also the revelation that I might start, or deepen, relationships with others that have made their way into my heart. I have always said I like it best when the line between family and friend blurs to obscurity......... So, for those of you who have found your way here, prepare yourself........ I am about to perform that same emotional equivalent of "dropping trou". Just like years ago with just family, on some level I am offering "This is the real me.......... please be gentle." If you care to have that type of relationship, you have but to offer the best part of who you are in return. I well know it ain't easy, but I think it is how God intended us to be. I hope we can truly and honestly share the greeting "I see you." It means everything.............
And lastly, there is one other reason for this blog that I should address. Mortality. Let's just say the tenuous nature of life as we experience it is an awareness that I have pushed to the back of my mind for most of my 55 years. It is now pushing back. I am aware of how very blessed I am with memories of time shared with those I love. I've got tons of pictures, and as far as I know I have never missed a chance to "in action and deed" share with those I love my deepest affections. Still, I would love to have something more tangible to connect me to those who have left this world. I am at perfect peace with where they have gone, and, in the deepest level of my soul I KNOW I will be with them again.......... still, I wish there was something I could "own" that would make them more real to me. I wish there was a video of my Granny telling one of her chillins about the "Bingity, Bangity, School bus", or of my Pop laughing as his grandsons acted foolish. I wish my daughter could know and experience those times. I wish my grandchildren could know who their great great grandparents were. How do I share those memories? I guess the larger question is, "How do I make something for those I love to hold to to ensure they know who I was? I suspect Randy Pausch did it best. Have you seen the video or read the book "The Last Lecture"? I recommend it highly. Like Randy I want my surviving loved ones to have something to hold to.............. this then, is the first entry in that effort. Please, wish me luck.
I have several friends from my youth that I still occasionally see. Some of them just happened to also be family. My brother and I enjoyed that type of boyhood intimacy with two male cousins. We do not see one another as much as we might, but we walked away a long time ago holding large parts of each others hearts. We can go years without talking, and walk into a room and immediately pickup as if we were together at dinner the night before. Same with my college and military friends. My best friend from back then actually fits into both categories (college and military). He told someone recently that in spite of the fact that we have not laid eyes on one another in almost two decades, if I were to call and ask for help today he would leave immediately. The depth of affection is mutual. Some souls just become intertwined with yours so deeply they are a part of who you are............... forever. Seems like I should add an Amen.....
I have that deeper "soul" level relationship with family. Several years ago my Dad's extended family met for a weekend. My Pop was not in the best of health, and a commitment to start regular family reunions was initiated. We had them for years, and more than enough love was shared........ but in truth we were not near the united group we are today. Those early reunions had everyone going here and there, and little groups visited as space and time allowed. The gentler side of the family (the women) were so involved in either food preparation or clean up that they seldom really had time to visit. We gathered, but we did not necessarily connect. Somewhere in the last two and a half decades someone saw a need and suggested we might want to try something different. A family time where we all took turns relaying whatever was significant in our lives. This was not a relaying of facts, but an honest relaying of what had importance in our lives. That first year "sharing" was difficult for some. It is amazing how difficult it can be to relay your successes and disappointments to others.......... even those that you know love you. It's the emotional equivalent of dropping your pants in times square. In your heart you are saying "This is the real me, please be gentle........". Well, we all made it through. Every year since then those that can have met and repeated the process. The circle has lost a member or two, and it has grown. Little ones are grown and have families of their own. They bring the little ones to learn the truth and value found in belonging to something "larger". The voices of little ones are strengthened early when they get a chance to talk and all the "adults" listen intently. Now, not only is my father wearing the title that his father so wonderfully progressed as "Pop" (or "Big Pop" to his three great-grandchildren), but to two beautiful little girls, and one little boy I am now "Pop". I can imagine no greater honor or title to which I might aspire. Somewhere in our desire to connect we found the best in each other. It is a holy time I think we all cherish. I will share the simple observation........... I see myself as the best man I ever hope to be in the eyes of the family and friends who have sat in that circle.
Next truth is that my daughter has revealed so much of herself in her own blog that it has been a regular instrument that offers the same type of revelation and bonding I feel at our reunions. The thought that I might be able to share something like the reunion with family on a more regular basis is .............. well, just awesome. There is also the revelation that I might start, or deepen, relationships with others that have made their way into my heart. I have always said I like it best when the line between family and friend blurs to obscurity......... So, for those of you who have found your way here, prepare yourself........ I am about to perform that same emotional equivalent of "dropping trou". Just like years ago with just family, on some level I am offering "This is the real me.......... please be gentle." If you care to have that type of relationship, you have but to offer the best part of who you are in return. I well know it ain't easy, but I think it is how God intended us to be. I hope we can truly and honestly share the greeting "I see you." It means everything.............
And lastly, there is one other reason for this blog that I should address. Mortality. Let's just say the tenuous nature of life as we experience it is an awareness that I have pushed to the back of my mind for most of my 55 years. It is now pushing back. I am aware of how very blessed I am with memories of time shared with those I love. I've got tons of pictures, and as far as I know I have never missed a chance to "in action and deed" share with those I love my deepest affections. Still, I would love to have something more tangible to connect me to those who have left this world. I am at perfect peace with where they have gone, and, in the deepest level of my soul I KNOW I will be with them again.......... still, I wish there was something I could "own" that would make them more real to me. I wish there was a video of my Granny telling one of her chillins about the "Bingity, Bangity, School bus", or of my Pop laughing as his grandsons acted foolish. I wish my daughter could know and experience those times. I wish my grandchildren could know who their great great grandparents were. How do I share those memories? I guess the larger question is, "How do I make something for those I love to hold to to ensure they know who I was? I suspect Randy Pausch did it best. Have you seen the video or read the book "The Last Lecture"? I recommend it highly. Like Randy I want my surviving loved ones to have something to hold to.............. this then, is the first entry in that effort. Please, wish me luck.
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