At dinner this evening I shared a most wonderful in depth discussion with a coworker. We did not at all exercises the usual gamut of topics for pilots (IE we did not mention airplanes, flight attendants, work, places to drink, or the latest hot topic....... apps). We did not even discuss politics or sex (saving that for tomorrow night). A definite example of discussions by two men over 50.
We discussed perhaps more meaningful topics. We touched on the loss of a loved one, how to prepare for that loss, how such loss affects you (and how one might deal with the heart ache after), raising children (or grandchildren), what is actually of importance in life, what might actually define a tragedy, and the things that define us as human beings. We touched on troubled family members, teenage daughters, being adoptive parents, and the differences in raising male and female offspring. Instead of an exchange of facts, there was an exchange of ideas. It offered insight into the others soul.
The fact that we had flown together years ago just magnified the difference in what we might talk about today. The fact that we both managed to touch on topics that made the corner of our eyes well up a little meant that the discussion touched on something beyond any usual table talk. It was refreshing, soul satisfying, and not anything young testosterone driven males would ever suffer to endure. All the more reason to treasure the experience.
One of the things we talked about was how drastically the way we identify ourselves has changed. This created a desire to examine just how much this might be true in my own life. The fact we all change should be patently obvious. Life is change. Still, somewhere in the mix there is always the one constant, our soul. We get older, values, capacities (both physical and mental ) wax and wain. However, the soul is a constant. Always, our eternal self is there, bearing an unending witness to our constant attempts to redefine our self. To blatantly plagiarize another, "In each moment we have the ability to redefine our self in a grander and greater version of who we want to be." So long as there is breath, we have the ability (need) to reinvent (redefine) ourselves. It is a constant process.
Both my dinner partner and I shared the opinion that how we would define ourselves had changed extensively over the years. Both of us were previously military pilots. We agreed that at one time we both would have listed "Military Pilot" as one of the top two or three items on any list that we might have used to try and define who we were/are. Neither of us would list our profession anywhere near the top of any current self description. Strange how "what we do" can at some time seem to define "who we are". Maybe that is a good thing, as at retirement who wants to start off any discussion with potential friends with a "Well, I used to be a ________". Who wants to be a "used to be"? I suspect the question should be "Who am I now?"
So, since I have gone to this extent, perhaps a listing of the words or things I think might define who I am today might be in order (remembering that the process is still ongoing). If I try to be as honest with myself as I can, these words or phrases define how I see myself. So, in order of personal importance.....
Who am I?
I am :
One constantly attempting to know his soul
Man of strong personal and independent faith
Loving father
Pop
Responsible, loving and respectful son
Honorable and loving brother
soul mate
Uncle Tom
Cousin Tommy
lucky member of a wonderful and awesome extended family
concerned and demonstrative friend
a concerned sounding board
searcher for truth and wisdom
possessor of a most playful demeanour and poets soul
one whose focus is external
one who looks for, and occasional finds, the best in others
a student of human nature
one with great curiosity
one very familiar with asking"Why?"
an accomplished world traveler
not quite an accomplished "jack of all trades", but working on it
an accomplished gardener with a special passion for Japanese style gardens
an accomplished humorist and ardent searcher for laughter
an amateur, but still enthusiastic, writer
a frustrated artist
the purveyor of bear hugs extraordinaire
a most communicative communicator (I talk to much)
a history buff
a collector of arcane and worthless knowledge
a questioner of dogma
one who occasionally thinks I was born in the wrong century
an individual who holds holy the sacrifices of those who made our country
one who sits in total disgust and contempt of the money whores who run it today
one who tries hard to see the validity in both sides of an issue
an optimist, if a bit of a sceptic
an above average airline pilot (who runs a most cooperative cockpit)
a slightly above average angler (and a most enthusiastic pond manager)
a keeper of aquariums (last count there were 5 in the house, and 3 ponds in the yard)
an enthusiastic (if not accomplished) golfer
an occasionally overly opinionated old fart
the wielder of a most vicious tongue (notice this is way down the list..... not sure others would share in my placement order)
a man with a temper, thankfully a temper that excepting the aforementioned harsh statements is seldom in evidence
Oh, and I used to be a Naval Aviator............
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Rant 2 Pensacola in the news again
I live in the general region surrounding Pensacola Florida. I have heard it said that one of the local counties made the Guinness Book of World Records for the greatest number of Churches per capita. Reading that one would think that the area must be populated with the most Christian population on earth. But that would be wrong. The reason there is so many Churches is because the area is populated with the largest single concentration of generally intolerant and bigoted people on the face of the earth. Well, maybe just in the USA.
Not everyone here is so fundamentally grounded as to be incapable of tolerating another view, but we certainly have more than our share. On any given afternoon a trip through any urban center will find a number of concerned local citizenry with bible in hand shouting at any and all passersby that their immediate future (as well as their ever lasting soul) is in jeopardy. I have always felt this a little presumptuous, and perhaps a little insulting. Given a chance they would be most enthusiastic to set you straight as to your short comings. Quite an accomplishment considering they are confronting total strangers. Christ himself would be confronted with someone fervently espousing the error of his ways.
The reason there is so many churches is because whenever an issue comes up that requires some individual thought or interpretation, when two or more disagree they go off to start a new church.
I have read where churches are becoming viewed as less important in most peoples day to day existence. Not here. On any given day, given the opportunity, any number of people will step forward to "set you straight". There is no room for personal interpretation nor any leeway for a differing truth. Political and religious discourse is essentially non existent.
I do not believe Pensacola is the sole location where abortion information is available in the entire US. So, why then do "we" regularly make international news for acts of violence at the local clinic. A short history check shows that there have been bombings, arson attacks, and self proclaimed "justified murders" at the local clinic. What a term, "justified murder". And it was a local preacher that was put to death by the state for those murders. Again recently the local clinic was the victim of an arson attack. The arsonist was not a local, but had been drawn here recently to protest. God save me from all "know-it-alls" who can readily spout their own truth, but can not take a moment to listen to another's.
I feel for these people. Maybe because at one time or another I have been closed minded. It is from the ranks of such people that jihadist find suicide bombers. Different faiths, same mind set. Such fanaticsm scares me. Still, the issue du jour is abortion.
It is hard to find anyone who thinks abortion ought to be a form of birth control. Can you not find compassion for the unborn? I can well understand and share the same motivations as those of the protesters.
There have been a few individuals that I have known that have been involved with abortion. None of them took the situation lightly. None were left unchanged, nor undamaged. Also none of them ever expressed the opinion that they would have done anything differently. That does not mean that there are not those who wish fervently that they could go back in time and change things.... but do we not all have some issues that fall into that category. I thank God I was never faced with such a choice. I actually have sympathy for the protesters. Still, uppermost I have sympathy for the individuals who find themselves in a situation where a child is not the gift it has always been in my life. I will never presume to make such decisions for another.
A little understanding in the discourse might be refreshing. But, no understanding or sympathy can be had if your value system does not have room for taking into consideration anothers situation. The simple fact that God might have different plans,and have presented different truths to another individual seems to be totally unacceptable to those who have "the answer". Strange, they all rely totally on a book that was written more than 2000 years ago and has been translated any number of times. If it is so concrete why in Gods name is there so much disagreement over what it says? Shouldn't there be just one church for everyone?
"It is written..." God has had nothing new to say in 2 centuries? We seem more concerned with the "word" of God than the experience of God. Which would you rather do, read about love or experience it?
I hate to be bashing anyone, but the most non Christ like individuals I know are individuals who call themselves Christians. Absolutism is a real danger (although most of the aforementioned "Christians" would assure you that any compromise is unconscionable). Christ himself associated with the "unclean". His ministry was universal, and first and foremost he commanded love. I do not see much love in evidence in the actions of those so freely willing to condem. Not a lot of compassion shown in shooting someone......
While I am on the subject, and borderline church bashing, just why is it we need churches anyway? At least the church structure as it exists today? Why is it that we need someone to interpret God's will? History is full of examples of someone telling as many as will listen what they should do. Jim Jones did it in South America, and mothers actually gave their children poison. Did not one of those people think to ask God for themselves? Just a personal opinion, but if God gave you a brain, should each of us not use our own?
Just who exactly said that God needed intermediaries/interpreters? Does God have needs? Does he need a televangelist to tell me what is right or wrong in my life? Is there a need for an official organization calling itself the "church"?
As it stands, the current representation of God presents a rather "small" and limited version of the Almighty. Certainly not the one that has manifested himself in my experience. Seems to me that all one needs to do to communicate with the Almighty is to first speak your truth, and then listen. It is hard for God to share his truth while one is actively telling him his/her own. Just listen. The answer always comes.
I do not believe it is a question of "Does God Speak?", but rather a question of "Do you listen?" This is God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, the great "I AM". Seems to me if he has something he wants you to know, and you are willing to listen, he will find a way.
All that said, we still go to church regularly. I want to take my grandchildren as often as I can. Why, cause there are so many people at church that I love. The time together is a treasure that restores my soul. I value the truths shared because they make the lives of those I love more rich and meaningful. It enriches my life when they share their understandings. Sometimes, when I am my most understanding, I can even find sympathy and some small bit of gratitude for the loud mouths at the intersections.
Not everyone here is so fundamentally grounded as to be incapable of tolerating another view, but we certainly have more than our share. On any given afternoon a trip through any urban center will find a number of concerned local citizenry with bible in hand shouting at any and all passersby that their immediate future (as well as their ever lasting soul) is in jeopardy. I have always felt this a little presumptuous, and perhaps a little insulting. Given a chance they would be most enthusiastic to set you straight as to your short comings. Quite an accomplishment considering they are confronting total strangers. Christ himself would be confronted with someone fervently espousing the error of his ways.
The reason there is so many churches is because whenever an issue comes up that requires some individual thought or interpretation, when two or more disagree they go off to start a new church.
I have read where churches are becoming viewed as less important in most peoples day to day existence. Not here. On any given day, given the opportunity, any number of people will step forward to "set you straight". There is no room for personal interpretation nor any leeway for a differing truth. Political and religious discourse is essentially non existent.
I do not believe Pensacola is the sole location where abortion information is available in the entire US. So, why then do "we" regularly make international news for acts of violence at the local clinic. A short history check shows that there have been bombings, arson attacks, and self proclaimed "justified murders" at the local clinic. What a term, "justified murder". And it was a local preacher that was put to death by the state for those murders. Again recently the local clinic was the victim of an arson attack. The arsonist was not a local, but had been drawn here recently to protest. God save me from all "know-it-alls" who can readily spout their own truth, but can not take a moment to listen to another's.
I feel for these people. Maybe because at one time or another I have been closed minded. It is from the ranks of such people that jihadist find suicide bombers. Different faiths, same mind set. Such fanaticsm scares me. Still, the issue du jour is abortion.
It is hard to find anyone who thinks abortion ought to be a form of birth control. Can you not find compassion for the unborn? I can well understand and share the same motivations as those of the protesters.
There have been a few individuals that I have known that have been involved with abortion. None of them took the situation lightly. None were left unchanged, nor undamaged. Also none of them ever expressed the opinion that they would have done anything differently. That does not mean that there are not those who wish fervently that they could go back in time and change things.... but do we not all have some issues that fall into that category. I thank God I was never faced with such a choice. I actually have sympathy for the protesters. Still, uppermost I have sympathy for the individuals who find themselves in a situation where a child is not the gift it has always been in my life. I will never presume to make such decisions for another.
A little understanding in the discourse might be refreshing. But, no understanding or sympathy can be had if your value system does not have room for taking into consideration anothers situation. The simple fact that God might have different plans,and have presented different truths to another individual seems to be totally unacceptable to those who have "the answer". Strange, they all rely totally on a book that was written more than 2000 years ago and has been translated any number of times. If it is so concrete why in Gods name is there so much disagreement over what it says? Shouldn't there be just one church for everyone?
"It is written..." God has had nothing new to say in 2 centuries? We seem more concerned with the "word" of God than the experience of God. Which would you rather do, read about love or experience it?
I hate to be bashing anyone, but the most non Christ like individuals I know are individuals who call themselves Christians. Absolutism is a real danger (although most of the aforementioned "Christians" would assure you that any compromise is unconscionable). Christ himself associated with the "unclean". His ministry was universal, and first and foremost he commanded love. I do not see much love in evidence in the actions of those so freely willing to condem. Not a lot of compassion shown in shooting someone......
While I am on the subject, and borderline church bashing, just why is it we need churches anyway? At least the church structure as it exists today? Why is it that we need someone to interpret God's will? History is full of examples of someone telling as many as will listen what they should do. Jim Jones did it in South America, and mothers actually gave their children poison. Did not one of those people think to ask God for themselves? Just a personal opinion, but if God gave you a brain, should each of us not use our own?
Just who exactly said that God needed intermediaries/interpreters? Does God have needs? Does he need a televangelist to tell me what is right or wrong in my life? Is there a need for an official organization calling itself the "church"?
As it stands, the current representation of God presents a rather "small" and limited version of the Almighty. Certainly not the one that has manifested himself in my experience. Seems to me that all one needs to do to communicate with the Almighty is to first speak your truth, and then listen. It is hard for God to share his truth while one is actively telling him his/her own. Just listen. The answer always comes.
I do not believe it is a question of "Does God Speak?", but rather a question of "Do you listen?" This is God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, the great "I AM". Seems to me if he has something he wants you to know, and you are willing to listen, he will find a way.
All that said, we still go to church regularly. I want to take my grandchildren as often as I can. Why, cause there are so many people at church that I love. The time together is a treasure that restores my soul. I value the truths shared because they make the lives of those I love more rich and meaningful. It enriches my life when they share their understandings. Sometimes, when I am my most understanding, I can even find sympathy and some small bit of gratitude for the loud mouths at the intersections.
Rant 1
I started this blog with a couple definite objectives. To ensure my surviving family and loved ones knew what was in my heart when I am no longer around to answer questions, and to further communicate with my father just what all was in my heart. Dad passed away in July. I suspect Dad's friends and family have all experienced the full gamut of the emotional spectrum in these last few months. Perhaps one of the things I miss most is the ability to share my irritations with him. We talked often, and the subjects were wide ranging. I always felt better after having heard his opinion on whatever it was that was bugging me.
So, since a phone call is out of the question, I figured I might take a moment or two to just rant about a few things that are on my mind. I will break them up into individual rants..... but it is basically me discussing things that I find annoying, or vexing. Since I am putting these ideas forward, I somehow feel Dad is getting an earful. Just as in life I am somehow sure he will find a way of answering. I do so hope I feel satisfied after getting the shhhhh....... negative stuff out of my head.
So, to start with my in general ragging on things, let me start with a current news item that my Internet provider thought should be national news. Seems a large retail outfit that specialized in wedding apparel went broke. In today's world another business closing its doors should be no surprise to anyone. But, this business had the audacity to render unusable any and all wedding dresses it was forced to dispose of. The news story relayed indignation that the retailer had destroyed wedding dresses that had not sold. It relayed the anger of many a young bride who felt put upon because when they went dumpster diving for a wedding dress they discovered that the dresses were ruined.
This is where I am forced to suddenly channel the sports figures when they confront someones unbelievable ignorance or ineptitude with a grimacing "C'mon man......".
Where to start. First, dumpster diving for wedding dresses? That may be news, but not of the kind that anyone would want to be interviewed over. Matter of fact, I can easily conceive of several Utube videos of women fighting in a large dumpster over particularly fine wedding dresses. Maybe with week old lettuce on their heads. That individuals might be forced to dredge through garbage for a dress is just .................................... sad. If finances are that tight, well, maybe a non traditional service is in order.
Second, I am betting that the chain in question knew for some time they were in trouble, and probably did everything they could to entice people into buying (obviously they missed out on not having a dumpster sale....... sorry, could not help myself). Since insufficient people bought dresses, they went out of business. Think of the employees and owners who have lost.......... well, employment, benefits, maybe the house. Certainly the image of a bunch of wedding dresses in a dumpster should elicit some sympathy. They represented someones dashed dreams of a successful future. A little somber reflection here please.
So the company decided to destroy the merchandise. Let me get this straight, someone was irate because they could not profit from someone else suffering. You have to be kidding me. Talk about a sense of entitlement. Whatever the owners wanted to do was their business. If they wanted to have a blue crab feast and use the dresses as a table cover.......... it was their dresses. No one has any business questioning what they did with their property. NONE. Now, if they had wanted to offer the dresses as gifts, they might have had a potential write off for taxes, or they might have accomplished something that would make themselves and several others eternally thankful. Such an act might have taken some of the bitterness out of the horrible situation they found themselves in..... They could have, but they did not "Have to". They did not owe anyone a gift. There was no great moral obligation to display generosity. You do not have to go far to be confronted with someone in need. I wonder if the individuals expressing such self righteous outrage over their perceived insults have done any better in today's climate of "me first". Somehow I think you would find few benefactors for St Jude on that list of individuals so vociferously trashing the now defunct business.
How about a little understanding. Maybe a little compassion. And shame on the news editor that let that story through. Bad enough that some selfish morons can not see that they are not entitled to benefit from another's tragedy, much less to forward such dribble and present it as newsworthy. This is what passes for journalism? Must have been a slow news day.
So, since a phone call is out of the question, I figured I might take a moment or two to just rant about a few things that are on my mind. I will break them up into individual rants..... but it is basically me discussing things that I find annoying, or vexing. Since I am putting these ideas forward, I somehow feel Dad is getting an earful. Just as in life I am somehow sure he will find a way of answering. I do so hope I feel satisfied after getting the shhhhh....... negative stuff out of my head.
So, to start with my in general ragging on things, let me start with a current news item that my Internet provider thought should be national news. Seems a large retail outfit that specialized in wedding apparel went broke. In today's world another business closing its doors should be no surprise to anyone. But, this business had the audacity to render unusable any and all wedding dresses it was forced to dispose of. The news story relayed indignation that the retailer had destroyed wedding dresses that had not sold. It relayed the anger of many a young bride who felt put upon because when they went dumpster diving for a wedding dress they discovered that the dresses were ruined.
This is where I am forced to suddenly channel the sports figures when they confront someones unbelievable ignorance or ineptitude with a grimacing "C'mon man......".
Where to start. First, dumpster diving for wedding dresses? That may be news, but not of the kind that anyone would want to be interviewed over. Matter of fact, I can easily conceive of several Utube videos of women fighting in a large dumpster over particularly fine wedding dresses. Maybe with week old lettuce on their heads. That individuals might be forced to dredge through garbage for a dress is just .................................... sad. If finances are that tight, well, maybe a non traditional service is in order.
Second, I am betting that the chain in question knew for some time they were in trouble, and probably did everything they could to entice people into buying (obviously they missed out on not having a dumpster sale....... sorry, could not help myself). Since insufficient people bought dresses, they went out of business. Think of the employees and owners who have lost.......... well, employment, benefits, maybe the house. Certainly the image of a bunch of wedding dresses in a dumpster should elicit some sympathy. They represented someones dashed dreams of a successful future. A little somber reflection here please.
So the company decided to destroy the merchandise. Let me get this straight, someone was irate because they could not profit from someone else suffering. You have to be kidding me. Talk about a sense of entitlement. Whatever the owners wanted to do was their business. If they wanted to have a blue crab feast and use the dresses as a table cover.......... it was their dresses. No one has any business questioning what they did with their property. NONE. Now, if they had wanted to offer the dresses as gifts, they might have had a potential write off for taxes, or they might have accomplished something that would make themselves and several others eternally thankful. Such an act might have taken some of the bitterness out of the horrible situation they found themselves in..... They could have, but they did not "Have to". They did not owe anyone a gift. There was no great moral obligation to display generosity. You do not have to go far to be confronted with someone in need. I wonder if the individuals expressing such self righteous outrage over their perceived insults have done any better in today's climate of "me first". Somehow I think you would find few benefactors for St Jude on that list of individuals so vociferously trashing the now defunct business.
How about a little understanding. Maybe a little compassion. And shame on the news editor that let that story through. Bad enough that some selfish morons can not see that they are not entitled to benefit from another's tragedy, much less to forward such dribble and present it as newsworthy. This is what passes for journalism? Must have been a slow news day.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Yes, but whose?
I have not written in awhile. Maybe waiting to find my voice, or more probably waiting for the world to once again seem solid. For whatever reason the desire to probe my heart for it's deeper truths always seems to diminish the moment I sit in front of the computer. During the day while engaged in most any activity my mind will wander, and it is to this forum it inevitably is drawn. So, in an act of supreme self control I will attempt to access the easiest (as it has been the most recurrent and immediate) of the list of potential topics.
At some time during the holidays my daughter relayed that she thought the young man who has so totally captured her heart was the answer to a prayer. It made me think......
For her, after seeing so many of her friends getting married, and then approaching her late twenties without any real contenders for her heart, I am sure she was more than a little concerned as to whether there would be a "Knight in shining armor" for her. We talked about it at length, and while none of us have a crystal ball (the late night psychics excluded), I was sure that life would unfold as it should......... but I have to add that I certainly recognized the longing in her heart and wanted as fervently as she did for the longing in her soul to be addressed.
So after years of perhaps not so patiently waiting, someone has come along. I know they love one another. Anyone can see it. It is most obvious. They play well together. He is a good man. His first marriage had problems. Trust was betrayed, and it takes little imagination to suspect his heart suffered real damage. He has a young son from that failed marriage. A most remarkable young boy (and I say that fully aware that where family is concerned I am somewhat biased) who is smart, cute, loving, and all boy. I watch my future son-in-law with my soon to be grandson and see reflections of my father. I can give no higher compliment.
Yep, my daughter loves them both, and I love what they all bring to each other. If I were allowed to have gone shopping for what I would think the man who would share her life should be, I think I would choose what God has provided. He is exactly what I would have put in the cart. If his heart suffered the hurt I am sure it endured, then I suspect he too was hoping that eventually he might find a soul mate that he could believe in. Being the people they are, I am sure they expressed their collective desires to the almighty.
So, at least three of us at some time expressed a hopeful prayer that there be someone they could share love with. That two singular souls might come together to make something greater.
That the life I helped create should know great joy and purpose, that was my wish. That my daughter should know fullness of life was and always has been my most fervent prayer. I am quite sure it will be one of the prayers in my heart when God calls me home.
Three lives, three prayers, and I suspect all three would suggest that the desires of their respective hearts have been made real. Oh, the fact that prayers have been answered is obvious..... the question remains, whose?
At some time during the holidays my daughter relayed that she thought the young man who has so totally captured her heart was the answer to a prayer. It made me think......
For her, after seeing so many of her friends getting married, and then approaching her late twenties without any real contenders for her heart, I am sure she was more than a little concerned as to whether there would be a "Knight in shining armor" for her. We talked about it at length, and while none of us have a crystal ball (the late night psychics excluded), I was sure that life would unfold as it should......... but I have to add that I certainly recognized the longing in her heart and wanted as fervently as she did for the longing in her soul to be addressed.
So after years of perhaps not so patiently waiting, someone has come along. I know they love one another. Anyone can see it. It is most obvious. They play well together. He is a good man. His first marriage had problems. Trust was betrayed, and it takes little imagination to suspect his heart suffered real damage. He has a young son from that failed marriage. A most remarkable young boy (and I say that fully aware that where family is concerned I am somewhat biased) who is smart, cute, loving, and all boy. I watch my future son-in-law with my soon to be grandson and see reflections of my father. I can give no higher compliment.
Yep, my daughter loves them both, and I love what they all bring to each other. If I were allowed to have gone shopping for what I would think the man who would share her life should be, I think I would choose what God has provided. He is exactly what I would have put in the cart. If his heart suffered the hurt I am sure it endured, then I suspect he too was hoping that eventually he might find a soul mate that he could believe in. Being the people they are, I am sure they expressed their collective desires to the almighty.
So, at least three of us at some time expressed a hopeful prayer that there be someone they could share love with. That two singular souls might come together to make something greater.
That the life I helped create should know great joy and purpose, that was my wish. That my daughter should know fullness of life was and always has been my most fervent prayer. I am quite sure it will be one of the prayers in my heart when God calls me home.
Three lives, three prayers, and I suspect all three would suggest that the desires of their respective hearts have been made real. Oh, the fact that prayers have been answered is obvious..... the question remains, whose?
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