Dragon Slayer

     Like I said in my last entry, I went to visit the Dentist with a Chicken Soup for the Soul book.  In reading it in the lobby there was one entry that certainly struck a chord.  In it a middle aged balding and out of shape Father shares his regular battles against the "Dragons" that are tormenting his Daughters sleep. 

    With some regularity the Father in our story hears a scream from down the hall, and in the middle of the night he stumbles out of bed and rushes (as best as one can "rush" in the dark and still half asleep) to her rescue.  Dressed in his finest Dragon fighting armor (an old tshirt and pajama bottoms) he stumbles into her room to ascertain just what demon has invaded his castle to vex his Princess.  Armed with the age old weapons gifted to those willing to undertake such challenges, he goes forth to do battle with the unseen.  His daughter tells him it is the Dragon from Sleeping Beauty.  Our intrepid Father hates this one more than almost all the rest.  It does not immediately run and hide at his approach, it always stays and offers battle. 

    With practiced elan our Dragon Slayer leaps to action and hugs his Princess (Dragons despise this), and then as she relaxes down into the bed, our Dragon Slayer slowly starts to rub his charges back.  First with small circles, the circles growing consistently larger.  The Dragon is wounded and screaming with rage.  To quiet the Dragon, our Slayer offers sweet memories and expected moments planned to hopefully create more Dragon repellent.  The Dragon limps away, wounded, but not dead.  Killing a Dragon is not easy.  He will be back.  He has come back before. 

     The record for returns for this Dragon is four life threatening battles in one night.  Between battle three and four the Defender of all things innocent found himself on the floor.  Whether from exhaustion, or a shattering blow from the Dragon he is uncertain, but when he becomes aware of a whimper from his Princess he is again prepared for battle.  He is ever vigilant.

    The author added:  And if, while dragging yourself out of bed after a night deprived of sleep, you should become discouraged, repeat the refrain of the Dragon Slayer: When the Sleepless night seems endless, and you are exhausted and irritable, remember that your sacrifice is worth more than sleep.  The tender care you give your charge is not simply to help them rest in slumber.  Your actions teach them to raise their own children--- with unlimited patience and selfless love.  You are raising the next generation of Dragon Slayers. 

    I find I am part of a long lineage of just such unsung heroes.

    I remember falling asleep as a young boy with the caress of my Grandmothers hand on my back.  There must have been special strength in that caress as it comforts me still.  Oh, how I wonder how many generations of Dragons this gallant and knightly warrior faced.  What Dragons did she fight in defense of my Father (before he became a Slayer whose battles are legendary..... if only in mine and my siblings memories), or of my Aunts?  I wonder if maybe she did not in her way do battle with Dragons who might have worked their way into my Grandfather's dreams.  She was a Dragon Slayer that should have special honors.  Maybe there is a hall somewhere in the hereafter dedicated to noteworthy Slayers?  I suspect all of us has our own special nominees.

     It is like that with Dragons, they do not just attack us when we are young. I am 57 years old, and although he is no longer physically present, my Daddy still shows up to fight the Dragons that come along to trouble my world.  To him, I was a prince worthy of his greatest sacrifices.  A dedication like that is not limited by mere mortal existence.  It's eternal.

    I have gotten to play the roll of Dragon Slayer occasionally for my "Princess".  To some extent I still do.  The Dragons have changed shape, but they still vex my charges.  On occasion there has been that contact that starts off with "Daddy....".  I know immediately that the Dragons of the waking world are again attempting to render one I love weak and afraid.   Someone needs her Slayer to once again step forward and bring peace and solace to her world.  I do my best to again "suit up" for battle.  I have always remembered the Dragon Slayers refrain (I knew it even before I had seen it presented in a written format).

    In a week, I will walk my primary charge down the isle (fear not, I have younger charges to keep this old Slayer at war for some time).  Oh, I am most excited.  I know in my "Princess" lies the heart of a Dragon Slayer.   There is something noble and courageous there.  What is even more exciting is that in the heart of her chosen beats that same warrior spirit.  I have seen him in action battling the dragons attacking my grandson.  He is a knight of the first order.  It is that way with Dragon Slayers.....  with just a little observation you know when you are in the presence of something.................. noble.

A visit to the dentist

      I had a dental appointment today.  As I was getting ready to leave the bedroom I grabbed something to read (expecting that I would sit in the waiting room long enough that the story of Rip Van Winkle might start to be a shared experience).  The book I picked up was "Chicken Soup for the Father and Daughters soul.  Perhaps a book overly directed at creating emotional response (to be read as "sappy"), but I am an easy target.

      Later, while the dentist and her assistant were rooting around in my mouth (I think they were looking for some lost treasure map with information leading to an Incan pyramid lost to the world for centuries.... or, it might have been just general conversation over office gossip).  It did not matter as, with something the size of a medium kitchen appliance stuffed in my mouth, I was not in a position to respond in any way to whatever they were discussing. 

     It was then that they commented on the muzak playing over the office speakers.  It was playing Adele's single "Rumor Has It".  They both commented on the song, and then began to discuss the cute young woman/girl that was in yesterday for a cleaning.  She was blond, and just sang along with the song.  As they continued to move the small fridge (or maybe a stove) around in my mouth I could not help wondering...... could it be?

    Eventually, after at least a week of enduring their combined renovation of my mouth, they removed any restrictions on my being able to speak (without risking chipping a tooth, or biting the Dentist finger), and I asked the question that they had initiated in my mind....  "Was the cute blond girl by any chance named Katelynn?"  I asked.  They both thought, and with a beaming smile they both responded in the affirmative.  They were both a little surprised when I offered "I think you are talking about my Granddaughter....." 

      As the Dentist reinserted a slightly larger appliance to ensure my part in the conversation was terminated, the assistant left the room for just a moment, and came back assuring me that I shared the same last name with the young woman in question.  They then again proceeded to tell me what a pleasure she was to have visit, and that she had either sang or hummed the same song just yesterday while getting her teeth cleaned.  I found the reflections on the way Katelynn presented herself wonderfully comforting.  Basking in the reflected positive glow of one we love is never a bad thing.  It is so satisfying to see your love and caring bearing fruit. 

     It made enduring the rest of the procedure almost worth it..............

   

Why?

           Memory is the Diary that we all carry around with us.
                                                                                         Oscar Wilde             


                              

   Why?

   I have spent an inordinate amount of my life in pursuit of that very question.  I am well on my way to my 57th year on this earth, and my Father once offered that my first words were "Why Daddy?"  Guess nothing has changed..............

     I started this blogging exercise as a response to the realization that I was garnering great insight into the beautiful woman that is my Daughter through her blogging.  She enjoyed sharing her thoughts, I enjoyed the insights, and so long as I did not embarrass her by making drippy Daddy comments (I guess there are some things you just never outgrow), we reached a happy medium.  As my own Father got sick, I discovered that my offering thoughts gave him access to my own thoughts.  It just helped intensify an already profound and deep relationship.  Maybe blogging can be a multigenerational tool to more profound soul connections? 

     So, today I became aware of a thought that this might provide some further and deeper tool....  one for me personally to eventually rely on.  Ever read or hear of the book/movie "The Notebook"?  It is a very moving story of a man sharing with his memory challenged elderly life partner the events that defined their life together (of which she no longer has access.... her "diary" is being erased by age and it's ravages).  He reads to her daily, and relates what has been her life.... and most of the time she does not make the connection.  Only occasionally does a moment strike a chord that it is her life she is hearing of..... but those moments are holy and blessed.

     I have two grandmothers that suffered from adult onset dementia.  My Mother is in an assisted living facility today with rapidly diminishing mental capacity.  Just today the realization came that maybe the real person I do this for might be the future me.  This might be my only way to reconnect with who I was................. or who it was that became me. 

    Amazing what a simple altering of perspective offers.